Things I Can't Say Out Loud...and Didn't
As much as I love having guests to stay on our fold out couch and them having to walk through our room to get to the bathroom, five days is stretching my hospitable nerves. We only have a week left here and we still haven't had sex on the balcony.
Uh oh, I was given strict instructions not to write about my boyfriend on my blog. Oh fuck, did I just write that? Oh shit, did I just say fuck? Oh fuck it, I might as well just throw it all out there and break all the rules by writing a list about why I shouldn't mention my boyfriend:
1. Because he values his privacy. If he wanted his life plastered all over the internet he'd start his own blog.
2. Because he probably doesn't want everyone knowing that he watches Big Brother. Hell, I wouldn't. Especially if I actually liked it too.
3. Because if I don't mention him, people might think I'm single and ask me on a date. Oh no, hang on. That doesn't make sense.
4. Because he is a big spunk and I love him more than anyone and he probably doesn't want the whole world to know that. Maybe he wants people to think he's single. Hmm...
5. Because I was told in no uncertain terms and I'm a good girl.
So, I will no longer mention my boyfriend on my blog. And if I write "we", you'll just have to imagine who I'm writing about because I shan't be any more descriptive than that. You'll just have to watch out for him on-
*watches in horror as computer is dropped from a great height by someone she can't mention*
*weeps uncontrollably over itty bitty computer pieces*
*finishes on someone else's*
*giggles cause she broke three rules in one blog*
x
Tip for the day: If you lose your internet connection or your computer is dropped from a great height and you are relegated to nerdy internet cafes, check out Global Gossip in the Cross if you is in the hood, are a heterosexual female or a homosexual/just curious and experimantal male, cause the staff here are HOT!
Favourite thing today: Mint. The cafe, not the herb. (Although I have much time for the herb). Crown St, near Cleveland. SO YUMMY!
Uh oh, I was given strict instructions not to write about my boyfriend on my blog. Oh fuck, did I just write that? Oh shit, did I just say fuck? Oh fuck it, I might as well just throw it all out there and break all the rules by writing a list about why I shouldn't mention my boyfriend:
1. Because he values his privacy. If he wanted his life plastered all over the internet he'd start his own blog.
2. Because he probably doesn't want everyone knowing that he watches Big Brother. Hell, I wouldn't. Especially if I actually liked it too.
3. Because if I don't mention him, people might think I'm single and ask me on a date. Oh no, hang on. That doesn't make sense.
4. Because he is a big spunk and I love him more than anyone and he probably doesn't want the whole world to know that. Maybe he wants people to think he's single. Hmm...
5. Because I was told in no uncertain terms and I'm a good girl.
So, I will no longer mention my boyfriend on my blog. And if I write "we", you'll just have to imagine who I'm writing about because I shan't be any more descriptive than that. You'll just have to watch out for him on-
*watches in horror as computer is dropped from a great height by someone she can't mention*
*weeps uncontrollably over itty bitty computer pieces*
*finishes on someone else's*
*giggles cause she broke three rules in one blog*
x
Tip for the day: If you lose your internet connection or your computer is dropped from a great height and you are relegated to nerdy internet cafes, check out Global Gossip in the Cross if you is in the hood, are a heterosexual female or a homosexual/just curious and experimantal male, cause the staff here are HOT!
Favourite thing today: Mint. The cafe, not the herb. (Although I have much time for the herb). Crown St, near Cleveland. SO YUMMY!
posted by Darcy at 4:38 PM
4 Comments:
MINT RULES!
the cafe and the herb.
your boyfriend is indeed a big spunk. and he hasn't told me i can't talk about him, so until he does, i am gonna talk about him, like, all the time.
if you want peeps out of your pad, i can prepare some knuckle sandwiches for them. just say the word and i'm there.
x
hi darcy,what were the three rules? first was not to mention bf. second and third?
Hi melbournegirl, if you go back a little you'll see that I endeavoured to stop using the F word and writing lists and thus far I've done pretty well, if I dare say so myself.
got it, well done!
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