What Women Want

Gael Garcia Bernal.

Pretty simple.

OK. I’ll be a little more detailed. My biggest challenge with this topic is where to stop. I could honestly go on for ever so I thought I’d keep it to the helpful and a little of the broader picture that might augment the rest. It's pretty earnest though. Mine will be a little love and partnership oriented as that’s we’re I’m at in my life and let’s face it, love rocks.

I am choosing to say “we” in this post and not “I” or “me” with the understanding that it is of course generalising, but I am fairly confident that most of what I say will be common to most women. Naturally details vary from person to person but…you get my point. I’m also referring to men but only because I am hetero. But most of what I say that doesn’t involve penii should encompass partners of both sexes.

So…

The key to what we want is respect. I believe respect comes from awareness and appreciation.

We want to be loved. We want to be adored. Even worshipped. We want to be treated like princesses. Not mothers. Not servants. Not whores (not out of the realm of kinky fantasy – and that’s only some).

We want to have fun, to be mentally and physically stimulated, to be challenged.

We want honesty. Another key. Keep it real.

Integrity, intelligence, grace, good humour…raw sex appeal.

We want men who don’t fall asleep after sex, who want to talk and cuddle and make us feel like there is more to us than sex (unless we only went home for sex). Better yet, who want to do it again. And again. And again and again and…

We want cock. And contrary to popular belief it’s not about what size that cock is, it’s about what that cock’s owner can do with it. So if you don’t have the master skills, go and learn them. Ask your women, your mates, your mum (oh god), your church leader, whoever you can…read a book (not FHM), read a girly magazine, look up Tantra, do whatever it takes to learn how to be a good lover.

Because we want to cum! We want slow sex, hard sex, rough sex, tender sex, all manner of kinky whatever-works-for-you sex.

And we want you to make love to us. This one does require love. Making love is even better than sex. Lovemaking brings people together in a state of spiritual euphoria and can enable transcendental experiences. It unites us in an indescribable way, eliminating the ego, is exhilarating and can be deeply profound. And so yummy!

We want to be surprised. We want to be treated. We want you to do anything to show that we are important and special.

We want men who can COOK! Sexy!

We want to feel truly ourselves around you.

We want to feel at home in your arms.

We want nick names that are ours only and make us go all gooey or feel flattered/special every time we hear them.

We want men who are trustworthy, responsible and reliable. Sounds so boring but if this underpins everything else then you can be as wild and free and able to have fun together as possible. Because we do want to feel secure.

We want men to hold us all night, caress our face, stroke our hair, tickle our back.

We want good head jobs and LOADS of foreplay.

We want to feel beautiful.

We want to come home after a hard day’s work once in a while and have the table laid, the wine poured, the dinner in the oven and the bath running. Or a foot massage.

We want to be equal. No we are not. No, it’s not femmo ra ra, it’s really simple. Wouldn’t you?

We want you to let us squeeze pimples on your back.

We want to get what we give which is usually a flood of love, care, attentiveness, tenderness, pleasure, loyalty, interest.

We want maturity.

We want men who are responsible for themselves. Who do their own washing, control their own finances, improve their own manners. Don’t rely on us to pick up after you, push you, control you. We’d rather not.

We want men who don’t live in squalor.

We want letters/poems/songs written about us/cheeky text messages.

We want you to communicate.

We want you to cry.

We don’t want cut, buff men with rippling six packs and biceps. Filthy. Yeah, fit is sexy but gym sculpted or body built is repulsive. If you can turn me on with your mind, if you can make me laugh til I wet my pants, if you can make sensational love to me and make me cum like a banshee I probably wouldn’t give a shit what you look like.

Mind you if you look like Gael, I’m there.

We want you to look after us when we are sick. Or when we are down.

We want you to make time for us.

We don’t want to come second to your mates. We don’t want to be a convenient addition to your routine – a bit of alright on the side. We want to be an integral, significant part of your life.

We want a man who knows how to touch, suck, stroke, lick breasts. Breasts are tender. They need to be handled with care and although some of us like it a bit rough sometimes, none of us like our nipples being chewed on a like a piece of liquorice or pinched or twisted almost clean off. Give back. You enjoy our breasts; let our breasts enjoy you. Be sensual. Worship with your tongue/hands.

We want men who listen. And remember.

We want men who do more of what we like (both in the sack and out), less of what we don’t and appreciate that if we say we don’t want to dress up in leather and bark like a dog for you, then we mean it. Please don’t expect us to do what every other girlfriend/friend’s girlfriend, stripper or porn star does.

We want respect.

We want men who look us in the eye and make us melt.

We don’t like filthy drunk men who stink and can’t get it up and stay in bed all day with a hang over.

We don’t want men who drink (a lot) every day. Or men who still think that getting pissed is really funny and there’s pretty much nothing else worth doing. That was for the age of 15 – 20.

We want to feel alive, excited, amazing, confident, loved.

We want to feel safe.

We want you to feel safe with us.

We want to feel like number one.

Yes, we want gifts. But it’s not about the gifts – it’s about the gesture. It’s about feeling that we are thought of and appreciated and making us happy makes you happy.

We like being flirted with and pursued. And romanced. And pinned hard up against a wall with passion.

We love a good kisser.

We like having our necks kissed, our ears nibbled, our thighs…oh, I better not get started.

We want your breath on our skin.

We want you to know where the clitoris is and what to do with it.

We want to be supported and nurtured.

We want to be tantalised.

We want you to know what you want.

We want respect.

Favourite thing today: Men.