Fuck Me I'm Cute
So, if you want to get away with everything, wear plaits.
The power of plaits! It's amazing.
I have been labouring lately and wear a daily uniform of jeans, t-shirt, grey hoody, overalls and plaits (to minimise the paint and plaster shit in my hair) and I must say it's so working for me. I do look pretty damn cute in my paint spattered overalls and plaits.
I was driving someone to the airport the other morning and, whilst slowing down to give way to a bus near the amber lights, I made a last minute decision to keep going and, of course, just as I passed through the lights turned red. Bugger. At that same instant I noticed the cop on the other side of the lights. Me-mao.
He did a U-ee and on went the lights. (He was on a motorbike. Awesome.) I got out of the car, all cute and shit in my plaits, my hands apologetically poised in prayer position in front of my lips and I said "I realised that just as I passed through the lights. I was slowing down for the bus. That was a mistake. That was really silly. But I have to take someone to the airport if you could please, please let me go." (He had to get a jetstar flight for fuck's sake and you know what Nazis they are.)
He bashfully dropped his head to the side and down, gave me a little "well, you gotta be careful..." tap on the hand and let me go!
Then a couple of days later at work I asked who I thought was a plumber if he wouldn't mind changing the washer on our leaking tap while he was there. "Sure, no problem" he replied and he promtly fixed it. Turns out he was just a delivery guy! Ha ha ha.
And they LOVE me in the hardware store. Especially the old woman. She's in love with me and I'm in love with her. She farewelled me with a chuffed little shrug of the shoulders, like an excited child at a fair, and said with delight "don't stop smiling". I melted.
So dudes, get yourself some paint spattered overalls and no matter what you wear, plait your hair!
Tomorrow I am going to rob a bank with plaits. I'll let you know how it goes.
The power of plaits! It's amazing.
I have been labouring lately and wear a daily uniform of jeans, t-shirt, grey hoody, overalls and plaits (to minimise the paint and plaster shit in my hair) and I must say it's so working for me. I do look pretty damn cute in my paint spattered overalls and plaits.
I was driving someone to the airport the other morning and, whilst slowing down to give way to a bus near the amber lights, I made a last minute decision to keep going and, of course, just as I passed through the lights turned red. Bugger. At that same instant I noticed the cop on the other side of the lights. Me-mao.
He did a U-ee and on went the lights. (He was on a motorbike. Awesome.) I got out of the car, all cute and shit in my plaits, my hands apologetically poised in prayer position in front of my lips and I said "I realised that just as I passed through the lights. I was slowing down for the bus. That was a mistake. That was really silly. But I have to take someone to the airport if you could please, please let me go." (He had to get a jetstar flight for fuck's sake and you know what Nazis they are.)
He bashfully dropped his head to the side and down, gave me a little "well, you gotta be careful..." tap on the hand and let me go!
Then a couple of days later at work I asked who I thought was a plumber if he wouldn't mind changing the washer on our leaking tap while he was there. "Sure, no problem" he replied and he promtly fixed it. Turns out he was just a delivery guy! Ha ha ha.
And they LOVE me in the hardware store. Especially the old woman. She's in love with me and I'm in love with her. She farewelled me with a chuffed little shrug of the shoulders, like an excited child at a fair, and said with delight "don't stop smiling". I melted.
So dudes, get yourself some paint spattered overalls and no matter what you wear, plait your hair!
Tomorrow I am going to rob a bank with plaits. I'll let you know how it goes.
posted by Darcy at 10:42 PM
5 Comments:
i've always been a sucker for men in paint-splattered overalls. SO HOT!
but i fear if i saw you in plaits i might skip one too many heartbeats and fall down dead on the spot.
Indeed, plaits are an oft-underutilised weapon in the feminine arsenal of attraction... Do I need help now that I have admitted I think that?
Considerng your last police - car story... I find t hard to believe you.
This time it's true!
Plait your hair and find out for yourself.
plaits are good, but only on girls. boys should not go there.
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