Slow
I'm sorry about that post the other day about going slow, I was on drugs. I don't have time to go slow, I am a busy fucking lady!
No, that's not true. Yes, it is true that I am a busy fucking lady, but I do have a bit of time to go slow and it has paid off nicely. I can even go slow at work as it is the nature of much of my job right now. (I am labouring - mostly painting at the moment. Back breaking but slow...ish).
So as it's Sunday now, my religious taking it easy day, let me tell you of my progress with going slow.
I acquiesced to my dog's slow speed the other day and chose a longer, sunnier route down a pretty street. On the way a man (who had clearly read my blog and had quickly gotten on this slow band wagon) was sweeping out the front of his house and then whacking piles of nothing back inside his fence with his best golf swing. As I approached he got down on all fours with a cheeky grin and started sniffing my dog. My dog was utterly bewildered but the slow dude and I were very amused. We exchanged no words, just hearty giggles and I moved on.
Awesome. Such a good way to start my day - with a wander, a surprise and a laugh.
I sat down and watched a slow DVD the other night. (Kind of cheating, I know, but it's worth a mention because it was incredible). If you haven't seen Hana-Bi by Takeshi 'Beat' Kitano, then please do. It is utterly brilliant.
But then on my way home from work on Friday I wanted to kill a man who was going slow. I was cycling furiously up hill in the Melbourne CBD at peak hour (which, if you cycle in Melbourne, you'll know is one of the least fun things a person can do). A man ahead clocked me and went through the "hmm, should I or shouldn't I cross the road right now in front of that cyclist who is clearly having a hard time getting up this hill and must be very tired after her long day's labouring and probably not looking forward to the cycle home from South Melbourne to Brunswick in the cold" sort of thinking process but ultimately decided yes, he would fuck my shit up and serve his own interests. But instead of doing the kind of hop, skip and jump road cross that I would do to avoid causing bother to other people, he decided to take it really slowly and then, jusy as he passed directly into my path, slowed down even more so he could light a cigarette.
"Take your time" I hissed at him. Cunt.
So I clearly haven't come to terms with this slow shit.
But there's a time and place for everything right? RIGHT?
Either side of this slow experiment I am certainly still rushing around like a maniac. Shit to do! Money to make! Shopping, cleaning, dog walking, socialising, MIFF...ay yay yay.
And I am riding everywhere. Fast. Well, as fast as my unfit legs will take me. Yesterday I was riding into the wind, having a jolly hard time of it. "Why am I going so slow and seemingly getting nowhere?" I asked myself. "Is it the wind? Or is it because I haven't ridden for the past two months because I was filming and then being a lush in Sydney and am therefore very unfit?" But eventually I turned a corner and sailed along - up hill! Alas, and thank God, it was the wind. I was starting to worry. But I need to get fit again. My arse is starting to sag in a rather unsavoury way - all small and flat, with skin hanging flacidly around nothing, where it used to hug all sorts of goodness like fat and muscle. So, no time to sit around wasting away! Must get on with the show.
When I retire and move to the country I'll have plenty of time to go slow.
But I will keep trying.
Favourite thing today: Sunday. I love Sundays almost as much as I love sleep. But not as much as Bloc Party.
No, that's not true. Yes, it is true that I am a busy fucking lady, but I do have a bit of time to go slow and it has paid off nicely. I can even go slow at work as it is the nature of much of my job right now. (I am labouring - mostly painting at the moment. Back breaking but slow...ish).
So as it's Sunday now, my religious taking it easy day, let me tell you of my progress with going slow.
I acquiesced to my dog's slow speed the other day and chose a longer, sunnier route down a pretty street. On the way a man (who had clearly read my blog and had quickly gotten on this slow band wagon) was sweeping out the front of his house and then whacking piles of nothing back inside his fence with his best golf swing. As I approached he got down on all fours with a cheeky grin and started sniffing my dog. My dog was utterly bewildered but the slow dude and I were very amused. We exchanged no words, just hearty giggles and I moved on.
Awesome. Such a good way to start my day - with a wander, a surprise and a laugh.
I sat down and watched a slow DVD the other night. (Kind of cheating, I know, but it's worth a mention because it was incredible). If you haven't seen Hana-Bi by Takeshi 'Beat' Kitano, then please do. It is utterly brilliant.
But then on my way home from work on Friday I wanted to kill a man who was going slow. I was cycling furiously up hill in the Melbourne CBD at peak hour (which, if you cycle in Melbourne, you'll know is one of the least fun things a person can do). A man ahead clocked me and went through the "hmm, should I or shouldn't I cross the road right now in front of that cyclist who is clearly having a hard time getting up this hill and must be very tired after her long day's labouring and probably not looking forward to the cycle home from South Melbourne to Brunswick in the cold" sort of thinking process but ultimately decided yes, he would fuck my shit up and serve his own interests. But instead of doing the kind of hop, skip and jump road cross that I would do to avoid causing bother to other people, he decided to take it really slowly and then, jusy as he passed directly into my path, slowed down even more so he could light a cigarette.
"Take your time" I hissed at him. Cunt.
So I clearly haven't come to terms with this slow shit.
But there's a time and place for everything right? RIGHT?
Either side of this slow experiment I am certainly still rushing around like a maniac. Shit to do! Money to make! Shopping, cleaning, dog walking, socialising, MIFF...ay yay yay.
And I am riding everywhere. Fast. Well, as fast as my unfit legs will take me. Yesterday I was riding into the wind, having a jolly hard time of it. "Why am I going so slow and seemingly getting nowhere?" I asked myself. "Is it the wind? Or is it because I haven't ridden for the past two months because I was filming and then being a lush in Sydney and am therefore very unfit?" But eventually I turned a corner and sailed along - up hill! Alas, and thank God, it was the wind. I was starting to worry. But I need to get fit again. My arse is starting to sag in a rather unsavoury way - all small and flat, with skin hanging flacidly around nothing, where it used to hug all sorts of goodness like fat and muscle. So, no time to sit around wasting away! Must get on with the show.
When I retire and move to the country I'll have plenty of time to go slow.
But I will keep trying.
Favourite thing today: Sunday. I love Sundays almost as much as I love sleep. But not as much as Bloc Party.
posted by Darcy at 9:45 PM
2 Comments:
I was riding my pushy in the Melbourne CBD yesterday - that wind was a cunt!
Where did you come from Hammy? I'm glad you did, I kinda dig your blog.
And this post would have been sad and lonely without you. It seems no-one else cared about my slow progress.
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